Nov. 25, 2020

By Anne Swenson, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist, UWCC

This is a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy that highlights how we often use hope to control our emotions. And that’s not always a bad thing, but sometimes hope can be a problem. We can keep trying something for too long even though it’s not working, stay inflexibly attached to an image of how we hope things will be without accepting how they are, and miss out on the present while we’re stuck imagining what we hope for in the future.

But when we’re able to hold Creative Hopelessness, we embrace the fact that things aren’t the way we wish they would be. Things are as they are. And this can be painful. But it also opens mental and emotional energy to be creative. Rather than thinking endlessly about all the plans that you may have had for usual holiday traditions, what are creative ways you can do that right now? As you figure out a way to live a meaningful life in spite of all of the losses we face.

It’s hard work to do this, but it is worth it. If you’re curious to learn more about how to use acceptance as a way of coping, feel free to take a look at the brief animated YouTube talk by Russ Harris below, which explains how to use acceptance in the face of COVID. In addition, you might want to check out workbooks such as “The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living” by Russ Harris and Steven Hayes.