Skip to main content
University of Washington University of Washington
  • Urgent Help
    • Home
    • Mental Health
      • Political Stress Support for Students
      • HuskyHelpLine
      • Get Started – Mental Health
      • Counseling Center
      • Urgent Help
      • Let’s Talk
      • One-on-One Mental Health Support
      • Groups and Workshops
      • Psychiatric Services
      • Gender-affirming Care
      • Mental Health Resources
      • Anti-Racism Resources
      • Insurance Billing
      • Doctoral Internship Program in Health Service Psychology
      • Resources and Help After Tragic Events
    • Medical
      • Get Started – Medical
      • Insurance & Cost
      • Immunization
      • Husky Health Center
      • Rubenstein Memorial Pharmacy
      • Lab & Radiology
      • MyChart Patient Portal
    • Dental
    • LiveWell
      • LiveWell
      • Peer Health Educators
      • Confidential Advocacy
      • Peer Wellness Coaching
      • Alcohol & Other Drug Education
    • Safety
      • Get Started – Safety
      • Concerning Behaviors
      • Harassment and Sexual Harassment
      • Relationship Violence
      • Sexual Assault
      • Stalking
      • Suicide Concerns
      • SafeCampus
    • Recreation
      • Get Started – Recreation
      • The Whole U
      • UW Recreation
      • Self-Care
      • Resilience Lab
    • Resources
      • Resource Library
      • Political Stress Support for Students
      • Forms
      • Trainings
      • Interviews, Presentations & Outreach
      • University Reports
      • Posters & Pamphlets
      • Student Care Reports
      • UW Food Pantry
    • Quick Links
      • Urgent Help
  • Home
  • Mental Health
    • Political Stress Support for Students
    • HuskyHelpLine
    • Get Started – Mental Health
    • Counseling Center
    • Urgent Help
    • Let’s Talk
    • One-on-One Mental Health Support
    • Groups and Workshops
    • Psychiatric Services
    • Gender-affirming Care
    • Mental Health Resources
    • Anti-Racism Resources
    • Insurance Billing
    • Doctoral Internship Program in Health Service Psychology
    • Resources and Help After Tragic Events
  • Medical
    • Get Started – Medical
    • Insurance & Cost
    • Immunization
    • Husky Health Center
    • Rubenstein Memorial Pharmacy
    • Lab & Radiology
    • MyChart Patient Portal
  • Dental
  • LiveWell
    • LiveWell
    • Peer Health Educators
    • Confidential Advocacy
    • Peer Wellness Coaching
    • Alcohol & Other Drug Education
  • Safety
    • Get Started – Safety
    • Concerning Behaviors
    • Harassment and Sexual Harassment
    • Relationship Violence
    • Sexual Assault
    • Stalking
    • Suicide Concerns
    • SafeCampus
  • Recreation
    • Get Started – Recreation
    • The Whole U
    • UW Recreation
    • Self-Care
    • Resilience Lab
  • Resources
    • Resource Library
    • Political Stress Support for Students
    • Forms
    • Trainings
    • Interviews, Presentations & Outreach
    • University Reports
    • Posters & Pamphlets
    • Student Care Reports
    • UW Food Pantry
  • Quick Links
    • Urgent Help
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

How do you know if your relationship is healthy?

Relationships are a necessary part of healthy living, but there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.  Relationships, from acquaintances to romances, have the potential to enrich our lives and add to our enjoyment of life.  However, these same relationships can cause discomfort, and sometimes even cause harm.  Take a few minutes to learn more about how to protect yourself from developing unhealthy relationships.

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on:

  • Mutual respect
  • Trust
  • Honesty
  • Support
  • Fairness/equality
  • Separate identities
  • Good communication
  • A sense of playfulness/fondness

All of these things take work. Each relationship is most likely a combination of both healthy and unhealthy characteristics. Relationships need to be maintained and healthy relationships take work. This applies to all relationships; work relationships, friendships, family and romantic relationships.

What are the signs of a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship should bring more happiness than stress to your life. Every relationship will have stress at times, but you want to prevent prolonged mental stress on either member of the relationship.

Below are some characteristic that may be present in your healthy relationships.

While in a healthy relationship you:

  • Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship
  • Maintain and respect each other’s individuality
  • Maintain relationships with friends and family
  • Have activities apart from one another
  • Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences
  • Are able to feel secure and comfortable
  • Allow and encourage other relationships
  • Take interest in one another’s activities
  • Do not worry about violence in the relationship
  • Trust each other and be honest with each other
  • Have the option of privacy
  • Have respect for sexual boundaries
  • Are honest about sexual activity if it is a sexual relationship
  • Accept influence. Relationships are give and take; allowing your partner to influence you is important; this can be especially difficult for some men.
  • Resolve conflict fairly: Fighting is part of even healthy relationships, the difference is how the conflict is handled. Fighting fairly is an important skill you help you have healthier relationships.

What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

At times all relationships will have some of the characteristics listed below. However, unhealthy relationships will exhibit these characteristics more frequently and cause you stress and pressure that is hard to avoid. This tension is unhealthy for both members of the relationship and may lead to problems in other areas of your life.

While in an unhealthy relationship you:

  • Put one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner
  • Feel pressure to change who you are for the other person
  • Feel worried when you disagree with the other person
  • Feel pressure to quit activities you usually/used to enjoy
  • Pressure the other person into agreeing with you or changing to suit you better
  • Notice one of you has to justify your actions (e.g., where you go, who you see)
  • Notice one partner feels obligated to have sex or has been forced
  • Have a lack of privacy, and may be forced to share everything with the other person
  • You or your partner refuse to use safer sex methods
  • Notice arguments are not settled fairly
  • Experience yelling or physical violence during an argument
  • Attempt to control or manipulate each other
  • Notice your partner attempts to controls how you dress and criticizes your behaviors
  • Do not make time to spend with one another
  • Have no common friends, or have a lack of respect for each others’ friends and family
  • Notice an unequal control of resources (e.g., food, money, home, car, etc.)
  • Experience a lack of fairness and equality

If some of your relationships have some of these characteristics it does not necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. By recognizing how these characteristics affect you, you can begin to work on improving the negative aspect of your relationships to benefit both of you.

When should I seek professional help for my relationship?

If a partner ever tries to harm you physically or force you to do something sexually that should be a clear sign for you that it is an unhealthy relationship. In that situation, you should consider getting help or ending the relationship. Even if you believe the person loves you, it does not make up for the harm they are doing to you.

Other circumstances include:

  • When you are unhappy in a relationship, but cannot decide if you should accept your unhappiness, try to improve the relationship, or end the relationship.
  • When you have decided to leave a relationship, but find yourself still in the relationship.
  • When you think you are staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons, such as fear of being alone or guilt.
  • If you have a history of staying in unhealthy relationships.

Having a counselor or mental health provider to talk to can help you work out challenges in your relationships and find a solution that is healthy for both partners.  UW offers individual counseling and support to students.  If you are a UW student who needs help with an unhealthy relationship, learn about resources here.

Where can I get more information?

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7)
National Bilingual Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233)

Go Ask Alice (Columbia University)

Relationship quizzes

Tips for Healthy Relationships

UW Resources

  • Relationship violence resources
  • Individual Counseling
  • Group Counseling
  • Q Center
University of Washington

Be boundless

Connect with us:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Google+
  • Accessibility
  • Contact Us
  • Jobs
  • Campus Safety
  • My UW
  • Rules Docket
  • Privacy
  • Terms

Many services featured on this website are funded by the UW Services and Activities Fee.
© 2025 University of Washington | Seattle, WA

Need urgent help?
Click for crisis services

Crisis support

US emergencies: Call 911

Click here for international emergencies

SafeCampus: 206.685.7233

Call if you have concerns about campus safety.

Husky HelpLine (24/7 Mental Health Support): 206.616.7777

  • 24-hour crisis line supported through Telus (formally MySSP) to give students access to same-day, confidential mental health and crisis intervention support, and in multiple languages.
  • Open 24/7. Online chat via Telus website. You contact them to request a consultation with a counselor and they call you back the same day.

Crisis Connections (Seattle-area mental health support): 866.427.4747

  • 24-hour crisis line for people in the Seattle area. Call if you have concerns about urgent on- of off-campus mental health needs.

On-campus support

Husky Health
206.685.1011
Husky Health Center

Counseling Center
206.543.1240
401 Schmitz Hall


International support for students, faculty, and staff traveling abroad

UW International Emergency Assistance